Moments later, I received a message from his older brother objecting to my “profanity” and indicating that I “will be guilty on Judgment Day and end up in Hell.” For real! And I’ve never met this guy! (Luckily, he provided some Bible quotes so I can clip-n-save-my-soul.)

What the fuck?

Now, I spent 16 years in Catholic schools, so “Thou Shalt Not Take The Lord’s Name In Vain” is something I’ve heard a time or two. And I’ve heard tons of nuns/priests/monks say “God dammit” in front of children. If you’ve ever met a Catholic, you know that’s the first commandment to go. It’s possible that, for all the problems our church has, we may inadvertently be onto something. Check it:

In his message, Evangelical Big Brother argues: “I wouldn’t use your mom’s name as a curse word, because that would offend you.” Well, that depends. When I say “God damn this spatula,” I’m not damning God, I’m asking God to send that spatula to hell for all eternity. If someone were to say “Mary Lou Holmes damn this spatula,” I would a) wonder how they knew my mother, b) suggest the Good Grips spatula, but ultimately c) laugh, because she doesn’t have that kind of power, dumbass.

But let’s assume someone were to say something totally nutsy like: “Mary Lou Holmes hates gay people, so you’d better vote yes on Proposition 8 so they can’t get married, otherwise she might fuck you up with her endless reserves of wrath and vengeance. How do I know? Oh, I was talking to her and she told me- I guess I know her better than you do.” I think that might offend me.

Maybe the definition of “in vain” in this case is not “to no purpose” but “proceeding from personal vanity.” As in, maybe you shouldn’t be throwing God’s name around to show off your moral superiority, because that’s not yours to judge.

Either way, I should spend less time on Facebook.

Gosh- I hope we have some news to talk about this week…

As for Clay himself, I say bravo. The content of the news comes as no surprise, but I honestly thought he’d go the Richard Simmons route. I’d love it if this kind of thing were old news, but we’re still mired in the culture war of the early ’90s- even here in California, where Prop 8 may yet pass. A quick glance at these fan forums reveals how far we have yet to come: posters talk of “defending” Clay against gay rumors in the past, more than a few share stories of having been forbidden to go to a Clay concert by husbands/fathers who suspected his homosexuality. Every little bit helps. Good for you, you fey little milk-toothed weirdo.

So here’s my question, just in case any of these AFA types are reading: How, specifically, does the existence of gay people “utterly destroy the traditional family?” I have an utterly traditional family, and I’m a gay member of it, and we’re just fine, thanks. Seriously, AFA person, you’ve got the floor.

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.
- William Carlos Williams

To-day we have naming of parts. Yesterday,
We had daily cleaning. And to-morrow morning,
We shall have what to do after firing. But to-day,
To-day we have naming of parts. Japonica
Glistens like coral in all of the neighboring gardens,
And to-day we have naming of parts.

This is the lower sling swivel. And this
Is the upper sling swivel, whose use you will see,
When you are given your slings. And this is the piling swivel,
Which in your case you have not got. The branches
Hold in the gardens their silent, eloquent gestures,
Which in our case we have not got.

This is the safety-catch, which is always released
With an easy flick of the thumb. And please do not let me
See anyone using his finger. You can do it quite easy
If you have any strength in your thumb. The blossoms
Are fragile and motionless, never letting anyone see
Any of them using their finger.

And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.

They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For to-day we have naming of parts.

- Henry Reed

That, for all they care, I can go to hell,

But on earth indifference is the least

We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn

With a passion for us we could not return?

If equal affection cannot be,

Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am

Of stars that do not give a damn,

I cannot, now I see them, say

I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,

I should learn to look at an empty sky

And feel its total dark sublime,

Though this might take me a little time.

“The More Loving One” W. H. Auden